Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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