6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
