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so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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