im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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