Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
