Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
