Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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