Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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