do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
