Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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