3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
