I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
