Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i barfeds in our rink
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The adults are the big ones right?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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