he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you had me at cake vodka
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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