just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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