2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
