whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
