He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize