I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Dear god my vagina.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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