HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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