Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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