I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize