chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
