i already hear my dad disowning me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
