I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
