Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
