ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
