just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
where does the pee come out of this thing
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
