You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
