What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
