dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
