I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
