He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
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