Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
