sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
