This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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