i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
