ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
