My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
