Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
