been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
