I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
