My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
