oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
