The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
