I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
