remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
