the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Bring me that man meat
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
