New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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