i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
