yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
