I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
and she was petting her beer can
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I need to calm my uterus...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
