he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
