Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize