I need help removing her.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
