I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
