Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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