i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
