was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
