I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
