Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
