you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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