32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't deserve a penis
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
