He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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